Lessons in Unreasonable Hospitality
When the Midlands Hospitality Network gathered for its most recent event, the theme was bold and unmissable: Unreasonable Hospitality. Inspired by Will Guidara’s influential book and philosophy, the panel discussion asked how the industry can move from “good enough” service to unforgettable guest experiences – the kind that builds loyalty, sparks word-of-mouth, and, in Guidara’s words, makes people feel truly seen.
But the conversation didn’t stop at theory. The panellists, each with very different backgrounds in independent cafes, pubs, and multi-site operators, shared how they’ve taken these principles and applied them in practical, sometimes surprising ways. What emerged was a session packed with ideas on culture, training, and creativity that any hospitality professional could take back to their business.
On the panel: Kieron Bailey, founder of People on Purpose; Lydia Papaphilippopoulos-Snape, owner of Warwick Street Kitchen and Saint Kitchen in Birmingham; Gordon Ker, founder of Blacklock, and Trevor Blake, Food Operations Director at Peach Pubs.
The inspiration for the discussion came after lead panellist Kieron Bailey visited Nashville to hear Guidara and his team explore the ethos behind Unreasonable Hospitality. In a room of 250 people – a third of whom weren’t even from hospitality, including accountants, contractors, and professionals from other industries – the lesson was clear: what hospitality does at its best, creating experiences that connect, delight, and surprise, is something others want to emulate.
And it wasn’t just about the big ideas but the small touches. On arrival, his hotel suite contained two small but extremely telling gestures: a can of Vimto and bags of strawberry bonbons, both mentioned in passing before the trip. A tiny touch, yet it sparked an outsized smile – a reminder that unreasonable hospitality is often simple, thoughtful, and unforgettable.
This MHN session became a toolkit for anyone wanting to deliver more than just service and instead create moments of genuine hospitality.
Beyond Service: Creating Connection
The first point that resonated across the panel was that service and hospitality are not interchangeable. Service is about efficiency, speed, and meeting expectations. Hospitality is about empathy, generosity, and exceeding them.
As Gordon Ker of Blacklock put it: “Service needs to be good, but how you make someone feel is more important than the technical elements of the job. People will always remember how you made them feel.” Too often, operators focus on tightening systems, introducing tech, and creating processes that reduce friction. These are essential, but without equal investment in human connection, they risk leaving customers cold.
In practice, this means permitting teams to go off-script – whether that’s suggesting a dish that reminds a guest of home, or noticing a birthday and celebrating it without being asked. These gestures don’t have to cost money; they cost awareness. But it requires a leader to trust their people and to be willing to empower them.
Founder of MHN and Tonic MD, Conrad Brunton, illustrated this with one of his most memorable dining experiences: “I was dining at The Ledbury with my mum on the set lunch menu. I mentioned that they had an incredible mackerel dish I’d enjoyed before, but it was only on the à la carte. After our starters, the team brought out extra cutlery – and then, as a surprise, served us that very dish as an additional course. Someone had overheard my conversation. That, to me, was next-level hospitality.”
Small Gestures, Big Impact
The conversation also turned to how the smallest touches can leave the deepest impression. One operator recalled a table of children dining with their parents; instead of handing out colouring sheets, a member of staff asked about their favourite cartoons and brought napkin sketches of the characters. The children were thrilled, the parents relaxed, and the team created a story that family will retell for years.
The panel agreed on the power of empowering your team to fix problems on the spot, offering a free drink at the bar or granting a late checkout without manager approval. Guests feel heard and valued immediately, and staff feel trusted to make decisions that matter.
These moments rarely come from scripts. They come from giving people freedom and encouragement to look up from the systems, see the guest in front of them, and respond with humanity. Capitalising on the genuine rapport they have built with the guest.
Building Culture
Hospitality businesses often pour time and money into décor, menus, and equipment, but neglect to invest in culture. Yet how your people feel directly shapes retention, guest experience, and ultimately profit. If staff don’t feel happy, safe, and valued, no amount of prestige or accolades will keep them motivated.
Too often, hospitality inherits a culture of toughness, where leaders believe being “broken down and built back up” is the way to progress. But this approach breeds toxicity and drives people out of the industry. The panel concluded that it was best to design culture with intention. Ask: how do you want your team to feel? Write it down. Involve your staff in shaping it. Give your culture soul, meaning, and ambition.
Change won’t happen overnight, and not everyone will come on board. That’s okay, lean into the people who embody your values, and they’ll help drive the culture forward. Those who don’t will leave. Hiring should also be guided by culture: balance skills with fit rather than add, avoid risky hires, and take time to build diverse, inclusive teams.
As Lydia explained: “If you’ve got bad culture in one of your businesses, you need to replace it with the right culture. I call the people who live our values ‘sourdough starters’, partly because we’re a café, but also because these people help the culture grow for you.”
Above all, leaders must model culture daily. Respect, kindness, and care are not “fluff”, they are the foundation of profitability. Look after your people, and they’ll look after the guests, the brand, and ultimately, the bottom line.
Hospitality Starts With People
A recurring theme was that hospitality begins behind the scenes. If teams don’t feel valued, empowered, and inspired, they cannot consistently deliver memorable experiences to guests.
This means holding a briefing; a moment to connect with your people, to make sure everyone is on the same page and to instil your values. Trevor Blake of Peach Pubs stressed: “Your briefing is a training moment.” and Gordon Ker added: “Your briefing is just as important as setting the tables — it’s non-negotiable.” and Kieron Bailey echoed that your briefing needs to be a non-negotiable, it’s not something you sometimes don’t do because of the demands of the business. Lydia shared how her café team holds a “huddle” at the end of each shift, asking the team: “Did you make someone’s day today?” She explained: “We call them rituals. These little rituals, rather than processes, spark creativity. It’s important to allow your team to have their own rituals so they take a bit of ownership”.
The panel also discussed role-playing not just for complaints, but for spotting opportunities – anticipating needs before they’re voiced, turning awkward moments into warm ones, or noticing when a guest looks lost. It’s the art of being attentive; it isn’t necessarily how many times you touch the table, but being truly present throughout service and available to guests.
Crucially, staff also need to experience generosity themselves. Leaders who remember birthdays, celebrate wins, or show flexibility create a culture where team members feel valued – and are far more likely to pass that feeling forward to guests.
Unreasonable vs. Unsustainable
The title of the session raised a natural question: is “unreasonable” hospitality realistic in an industry already under pressure? Can businesses afford “extras” when margins are tight and teams are stretched?
The panel’s answer: yes – because unreasonable hospitality is not about extravagance, but about intentionality.
Gordon Ker recalled visiting a New York restaurant and noticing a member of staff whose only job was to make guests feel special. When he asked the maître d’ about their role, the answer was simple: “Their role is just to make people feel like celebrities.”
It wasn’t costly, it was conscious. And those touches, panellists argued, can be more powerful for loyalty and repeat custom than any discount or promotion.
The Role of Leadership
The panel agreed: unreasonable hospitality doesn’t happen by accident. It must be modelled and encouraged by leadership.
That means giving permission. If every gesture requires managerial sign-off, the moment is lost. Clear boundaries – like comping anything under £10 without approval – empower staff to act with speed and generosity.
Trevor Blake admitted this shift felt risky at first, but the outcome was clear: happier guests and happier staff. Trust itself became a powerful part of the culture.
Leaders also need to make space for reflection, sharing stories of great hospitality in briefings and recognising staff who embody the values. As Kieron Bailey put it: “Most people want to feel good when they come to work; most people want to have a good time. The ones who come in angry, cling to old ways, and resist change will naturally be squeezed out by the culture you’re building.”
For operators in the West Midlands, where footfall can’t match London but competition is fierce, this people-first focus is even more critical. Independents and multi-site operators alike succeed not by undercutting on price, but by overdelivering on care.
Practical Takeaways
The panel offered clear, actionable lessons for operators:
- Empower teams with guidelines, not scripts. Give boundaries for comping or adapting so staff can respond quickly and warmly.
- Train for empathy, not just efficiency. Use role-play and discussion to build confidence in spotting guest cues.
- Celebrate stories. Share real examples of great hospitality to reinforce what “good” looks like.
- Listen harder. Encourage staff to ask simple, open questions that create opportunities for personalisation.
- Value your team. Unreasonable hospitality begins with unreasonable care for your own people.
Looking Ahead
Midlands Hospitality Network has always aimed to spark conversations that operators can act on immediately, and this session was no exception.
“Unreasonable hospitality” may sound like a lofty ambition, but as the panel made clear, it’s less about excess and more about intent. It’s not a cost-heavy strategy, but a culture-heavy one – built on curiosity, kindness, and empowerment.
As MHN continues to grow as a hub for food and hospitality, the businesses that thrive will be those who understand this truth: service gets the job done, but hospitality builds legacies.
Sometimes, the most unreasonable thing of all is simply taking the time to see someone, hear them, and make them feel like they matter.
