Words by Caitlin Allwood
At November’s Midlands Hospitality Network, leadership coach Michelle Moreno delivered a session that cut straight to the heart of what hospitality needs most right now: meaningful human connection. Known for grounding big ideas in lived experience, Michelle speaks with the credibility that comes from understanding both people and pressure. In a sector defined by relentless pace and rising expectations, her message was simple yet transformative: real leadership starts with real conversations.
Michelle framed her session around three core themes – the quality of our conversations, the courage to face reality, and the consistency of weekly check-ins. Together, they form a practical, human framework for leading people, one that feels acutely relevant to hospitality today.
With margins tightening, teams stretched and expectations higher than ever, leading well has never been more challenging. It is precisely in this environment that the power of real, meaningful conversation matters most.
The Marble Jar
Hospitality has never been an industry that stands still. Fast-paced services keep everything moving, but they also make it easy for leaders to slip into autopilot. Drawing on her work around trust and connection, Michelle reminded the room that “the quality of the question changes the quality of the connection” – and connection, she argued, is what truly moves people and teams forward.
Real conversations demand presence. Listening to understand, rather than listening to respond. Stepping out of the story we’ve already written in our own heads and replacing assumption with curiosity – even when the answer isn’t what we expect. This is where Michelle’s approach stands out: practical, grounded and rooted in what actually happens between people, day after day.
Michelle shared the story of a 13-year-old girl who confided in someone she believed she could trust, only for that confidence to be shared with an entire classroom. Her response was immediate: “I’m never going to trust anyone again.” It’s a sentiment that echoes widely in a world where distrust has become normal, and one that clearly shapes Michelle’s work around psychological safety.
To rebuild trust, Michelle uses the concept of the Marble Jar – the idea that trust is built through tiny, consistent “I see you” moments. Not grand gestures. Not annual reviews. But daily micro-moments where people feel recognised, heard and respected. These moments create safety, loyalty and resilience within teams.
Leaders don’t need to force openness; they simply need to make space for it. Sometimes the most powerful question is simply: “Tell me more.”
The Stockdale Paradox: Holding Two Truths at Once
One of the most resonant ideas Michelle shared was the Stockdale Paradox – a mindset rooted in both realism and optimism. It’s a philosophy that feels almost tailor-made for hospitality today, and one she delivered with clarity and honesty.
The paradox holds two truths at the same time:
- unwavering faith that we will succeed
- a willingness to confront the brutal facts of reality
Too much optimism becomes delusion. Too much realism becomes defeatism. Leadership lives in the tension between the two.
“Welcome to 2025,” Michelle remarked – a year marked by economic uncertainty, shifting workforce expectations and sustained operational pressure. But also a year of opportunity, emerging talent and the potential for reinvention.
Leaders who acknowledge difficulty while still holding onto belief create foundations that people trust. Two things can be true at once: the struggle and the opportunity, the pressure and the potential. Progress depends on our ability to hold both.
Weekly Check-Ins: The Small Habit That Changes Teams
One of the clearest takeaways from Michelle’s session was the power of short, meaningful weekly check-ins. She shared that having just one meaningful weekly conversation makes employees four times more likely to be highly engaged. For Michelle, this isn’t about adding more meetings to already-full diaries – it’s about intent, consistency and presence.
Not long conversations. Not quarterly one-to-ones. Just ten minutes a week.
These conversations:
- prevent small issues from escalating
- build clarity and alignment
- help people feel seen
- strengthen performance
- create the “marble jar” moments that build trust
Critically, they only work if they happen consistently. Every cancelled or rescheduled check-in chips away at trust – another marble lost.
Michelle shared Gallup’s simple three-question framework for a ten-minute check-in:
- What are you focused on this week?
- How can I help?
- What do you need to be successful?
These questions cut through overwhelm, create direction and remind people that someone is paying attention. Often, people already know the answer – the conversation simply creates space for clarity.
The Way We Lead Shapes the Way People Live
Michelle closed her session with a powerful reflection: “The way we lead impacts the way people live.” It’s a statement that captures the essence of her work – leadership not as a title, but as a responsibility. While it carries weight, it reflects a simple truth: how well we lead shapes confidence, wellbeing and long-term careers.
For Michelle, a self-described “strong working-class girl”, opportunity came because leaders noticed her. They asked questions. They encouraged her. They made space. That lived experience sits quietly beneath everything she teaches – and it’s why her message resonates so deeply.
And that is the invitation to leaders across hospitality today. In an industry built on service, human connection is not a soft skill; it is a strategic one. The future of hospitality depends on leaders who show up, stay present, ask better questions, face reality with courage, and build trust through small, consistent actions.
If we can do that, we won’t just retain our people – we’ll help them thrive.
Midlands Hospitality Network (MHN) is hosted by Tonic Talent and exists to create space for exactly these kinds of conversations. Delivered six times a year across the Midlands, MHN brings together hospitality leaders, operators and professionals to share honest insight, lived experience and practical learning – without ego or sales agendas.
The purpose is simple: to strengthen the industry through connection, community and meaningful dialogue, while also giving back through charitable partnerships. To stay up to date with upcoming events, speakers and conversations, follow Midlands Hospitality Network @midlands_hospitality_network_
